Not when it is so pretended to say for the sake of saying ! People don’t remember they forgot and just pretend to forget. It is therefore when they wish the dictum  “MICHHAMI DUKKADAM”, they hardly forgive at heart. Undoubtedly, situations in life are tough when we are hurt by our dear ones, maybe their words or actions. Most of us either react back and many others just plunge themselves into a pool of depression and both the actions lead to create cracks in relationships. 

It is but natural to sometimes react, it’s but natural to sometimes shout when we are hurt, but, if we don’t remember to forget these situations and hold on to the negatives without letting them go, we may end up in an emotional disaster. 

So, we need to learn to apologise & forgive. Holding on the resentments towards others is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It may hurt him, but it will surely hurt us as well. 

Once a person came and started abusing Lord Buddha in front of his followers. His disciples were outraged and disturbed but the person was amazed to see the calmness in Lord Buddha’s face. The calmness of the Lord only increased the anger of the person and finally he left. His followers asked, “How could you do this ? The person simply spoke rubbish and ridiculous lies about you. How could you maintain your composure ?” 

Lord Buddha smilingly replied, “ What if someone brings you a gift and you don’t accept it ?”

“He will have to take it back with him” , replied his followers. 

“Exactly, I did the same thing, I never accepted his gifts of anger and abusive words!”

When somebody insults you, you have to become a receiver, you have to accept what he says; only then can you react.  But if you don’t accept, if you simply remain detached, if you keep the distance, if you remain cool, what can he do? 

Buddha said, ‘Somebody can throw a burning torch into the river.  It will remain alight till it reaches the river.  The moment it falls into the river, all fire is gone; the river cools it.  I have become a river.  You throw abuse at me.  They are on fire when you throw them, but the moment they reach me, in my coolness, their fire is lost.   They no longer hurt.  You throw thorns, falling in my silence they become flowers.  I act out of my own intrinsic nature.’

What Lord Buddha could do remains calm and composed, every one of us can’t !  So, even if we react, it’s a sign of intelligence to apologise, forget and forgive and start life afresh. Forgiveness is thus never a sign of weakness, it's sign of great strength and wisdom. 

“It takes a strong person to say sorry , and an ever-stronger person to forgive.”

"Forgiveness is a strange medicine , You give it to others, your own wounds heal."

But, the question is how can one practice forgiveness in LIFE ? The answer is remembrance ; by remembering the joy of best times and the incredible mutual strength of being together. We can not live alone. Loneliness is a crippling curse, and more we understand it more we will take relationships as blessings and get empowered to tolerate the tough times. The more we remember and realise the dire mutual need of being together, the more we will practice forgetting those trying moments and forgiving others so involved. 

One needs to appreciate the true meaning of community - commitment to be united ! We are vulnerable when alone and being together is a source of great strength against the hurricanes of negativities of the world. More we grow high in life ; more we must remember the dire need to intertwine our lives with our dear ones. 

But, what do Jains do ? They just do account closing exercises by virtue of wishing one another a mere dictum “MICHHAMI DUKKADAM” and take it as if they are now allowed to hurt or be hurt afresh !